Liam and Mia had been together since the beginning of high school. Tonight was their graduation, and they had to decide their future together. Liam had received a scholarship for football to BU while Mia had been the number one student in her class and decided to follow Liam and his dreams to BU so they could be together. Mia had no idea about Liam's plan to spend the rest of their lives together.
The classic graduation music played in everyone's ears, and all of the graduates started walking two by two down the aisle. Speeches were made and one by one students were receiving their diplomas and moving one step forward into the rest of their lives. As Liam was receiving his diploma, he suddenly stopped and asked if he could say a few words.
"Mia, will you please come up to the stage for one moment." Liam asked.
Not knowing what was going on, Mia did as Liam had asked her to do so wondering what was going to happen.
"What are you doing?" Mia questioned him.
"We have been together for almost four years now." Liam had started saying.
"I can not imagine my life without you and since we are going to school together, why not make it official?" Liam finished saying.
Tears were running down Mia's face as Liam pulled out the ring.
"Mia, will you marry me?" Liam popped the question.
A strange guttural came from Mia as she was lost for words since she was so overwhelmed. Cheers filled the auditorium and you could feel everyone's excitement in the air.
It was after graduation and Liam and Mia's friend Scott was having an after party. There were about fifty kids there and screams were everywhere. Laughter came from everyone as they did not know what they were talking about since some had drunk too much alcohol. Mia and Liam had not drank that much in high school, but tonight they had graduated and thought to themselves, why not? At around 2 in the morning Liam and Mia decided to leave. They both thought they were fine to drive and didn't realize how much alcohol they consumed. It was foggy that night, worse then most. It had taken one night for Liam and Mia to lose everything that was ahead of them.
"Beep, beep, beep," was the sound Liam heard as he woke up. Nurses were running crazy all around him and he realized he was in the hospital.
"What happened, what am I doing here?" he asked his mother and father who were sitting right beside his bed.
"Son, you ran through a red light and crashed into another car, luckily the passenger from the other car is alright." Liam's mother had said as her voice was cracking.
"WHERE IS MIA?" Liam screamed from the top of his lungs.
His parents looked at one another and lamented. Liam started going crazy. He ran into her room and prayed thinking that she had died, but was so thankful when she was laying there in front of him. He still did not know that Mia was now paralyzed waist down for the rest of her life. Mia laid there staring up at the ceiling. Liam ran over to her and grabbed her hand, but her hand did not grab back. Her body did not move a muscle, and then Liam had figured out he had just ruined her life. He broke down thinking of the thought he had ruined her life. It was his fault and all he could think about was why had he only had nothing but some cuts and contusions and his fiancé was now paralyzed. He felt nothing but guilt and anger.
Mia lost her scholarship to BU since she was not able to attend college for a few more years. All Liam could do was feeling sorrow for Mia and blame himself but she told him they both shouldn't have been in the car that night. He had been lucky to not have lost his scholarship, and was still able to play football at BU. The only problem was Mia would not be there with him like their plan.
He knew he had to make a decision. It would either be to go to BU to further play football, or stay with Mia and be by her side. Was he going to follow his dream or his heart?
"I'm staying here with you Mia." Liam told her.
"No, absolutley not. There is no way you are giving up your dream for me your giving up everything ahead of you." Mia cried out.
" I can always go in a couple years with you, I want to stay here, college would not be the same without you." Liam explained.
The decision was final and Liam stayed with Mia. The doctors told Mia she would never walk again but they were determined. Each day they worked harder and harder so Mia could maybe just maybe walk again. On April 2nd both were happily married with one another and they knew nothing would ever pull them apart. They had been through so much together and would soon both go to BU with one another as they had planned all along.
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I want to the reader to believe that finding love is possible and to always follow your heart. It was easy to write about Liam's decision to stay with Mia because I know if that situation every happened to me I would be so grateful if they gave up their dream to help me. I had trouble deciding how he was going to propose to her because there are so many different ways to do so. My weak areas are probably the detail about the car accident. I want the reader to comment on the decisions eachcharacter made and if their decision should be different.
The conflict of Kara's story is Liam and Mia got in an accident because they had beeen drinking at a party. Mia was parylyzed from the accident and her and Liam were getting married. This conflict was resolved by Liam sticking by Mia's side instead of going to college to play football and they had a happy wedding.
Liam changes over time because he follows his heart. Even though he would have loved to go to college to play football, he wasn't going to put that before his parylyzed fiance. If Liam didnt change, they wouldn't have had a happy wedding.
My favorite part of the story is when Liam decided to stay with Mia. This was part of the resolution. "Was he going to follow his dream or his heart?" was one of my favorite quotes from the story because this choice is a big part of the rest of Liam's life.
The story's best quality was the conflict becuase it was described really well."WHERE IS MIA?" Liam screamed from the top of his lungs. The characters emotions helped make the conflict good. This is something that happens to many people because of drunk driving.
The story's theme is to follow your heart. At the beginning of the story, they get engaged, and throughout the rest of the story they stick by each other until they get married.
Something you could revise is making it clear if Mia could walk when they got married. Everything else was really good !
1.The main conflict in her story was when Liam and MIA graduate from high school. It was the same night, right after they had proceeded to get there diplomas, they were at a party and they had never drank in there life, but tonight they decided since they were graduated, it was a special occasion and they could. BUT they decided to drive after they drank, it was already a foggy night to begin with and they were half drunk. They crashed and ended up in the hospital together, leaving Liam injured and MIA paralyzed from the waist down.
2.The main characters change over time. In the beginning they were so excited to graduate and go to Boston university together. But then when they get in the car accident it delays all there dreams and they have to put it on hold for a couple of years. Liam is upset and becomes sad because he paralyzed his fiance, and she wont get to go on to for fill her dreams, she feels bad cause he cant go to Boston university on time to play football with her scholarship.
3.My favorite part in the story was when they were in the hospital and he said that he was not going to go to college right away, that he was going to wait a few years and go with mia when she went. i thought it was cute how he wanted to wait and go when she did so they could be there together, and he was waiting so they would miss each other and be so far away."I'm staying here with you Mia." Liam told her.
4. I think the tales best quality is when they were at graduation and they were all screaming and hearing people yell, when they went up to get there diplomas, and when he asked her to marry him, and the reaction she gave him..crying.
5. I think the theme of the story is follow your heart. if you know that you want to be with someone for the rest of you lives then go for it. Don't let somebody else of other people stop you or tell you that maybe its not the right time.
6. The author of this could go over her spelling, when i was reading this i came across some mistakes, other than that it was a job well done. BRAVO
with love,
emily, em, emabert, bob, champ..YAH KNOW
The conflict of the story is that the two main characters Liam and Mia get into a car accident because they are driving under the influence. When Liam crashes, Mia becomes paralized and her dream of going to BU is over. The conflict was resolved when Liam decides to stay with Mia so that they could go to college together once Mia was better and they also got married.
Liam changes over time because in the beggining it seems like going to college to play football was the most important thing to him, but after the accident he follwos his heart and stays with the love of his life. If Liam had not changed there couldv'e been a chance that Liam and Mia would not have got married.
The best quality of the story was the use of dialogue becasue you learn so much about the characters threw how they are speaking with eachother. The dialogue appears all throughout the story.
My favorite part of the story was when Liam proposed to Mia on graduation day in front of the entire class."I can not imagine my life without you and since we are going to school together, why not make it official?' Liam finished saying. Tears were running down Mia's face as Liam pulled out the ring.'Mia, will you marry me?' Liam popped the question."
The theme of this story is to follow your heart. Liam had to choose between going to college to play football on a scholarship or staying with his new fiance who has been paralyzed from a car crash that he was at fault for.
One thing i might add was the end result for Mia. Could she walk eventually? Other then that great job Kara!
<3 Alicia
1.)The conflict of the story was that the main Characters Liam and Mia got into a car accident after coming home from a graduation party. They had both been drinking and Liam ran a red ligh crashing into another car. Liam was alright and so was the other driver but Emily was not so lucky. She was parylized.He has to decide to eith stay with Mia or follow his dream of playing football. The conflict was resolved when Liam decides to stay with Mia so that they could go to college together once Mia was better and they also got married.
2.) The main characters change over time. Liam was at first excited to go to BU with his fiancee and eventualkly marry her. HE canges and i think becomes mor mature after the accident and chooses love.
3.) My favorite part of the story was when Liam decided to stay with Mia. I thought it was cute how he was going to wait for her and they would go together. It was inthe resolution. My favorite line was " ' I can always go in a couple years with you, I want to stay here, college would not be the same without you.'" I just thought it was really sweet and an nice addition to the story.
4.) I think the stories best quality was the really well description of the conflict. It was really well described. It felt like you were actually there and experiencing those feelings!
5.) I think the theme of the story is follow your heart. If you really care about someone then go for it. Nothing can stand in the way if you really care about someone. Like being Parylized.
6.) The author could fix some spellinmg mistakes. There wasn't many though. Also answer the question did she ever walk. I really enjoyed your story ! :)
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